Triplets now three years old !

CELEBRATING THIRD BIRTHDAY TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLINGS...muaaahh...

                           

My triplets are three years old today. On their third birthday I am thinking of how much they have grown, and changed, from the babies we saw at birth. Not in terms of physical development or motor skills or speech, which they have acquired more or less in the same way as other babies (Thank God for that, there usually is a development delay for multiples), but in terms of their relationships with us, with each other, the talents they have developed, their individuality becoming clearer by day. Also about how much we have changed, from being carefree and career oriented to parenting triplets, that too parenting triplets in Kerala, where parenting multiples is mostly fun, whole family and relatives taking part in the process, and at the same time parenting multiples is difficult, due to unavailability of supportive mechanism in terms of available products for intended for multiples in the market.

It is fun to observe the triplets’ relationship with each other, their love for each other, and jealousy with each other. Also the way triplets have developed their own individualities and preferences.  I will try to analyse one by one. Raman- is the most babyish among them, even though he is the eldest. His development in terms of motor skills is a bit less than the others- meaning he can't climb on top of the cupboard as easily as Balu, and also (which concerns me somewhat) he can't tie his shoes on his own. His speech was a bit delayed, but now he is the one who speaks poetically about the sky and the sun and moon and the rain, and dramatically about elephants and trains. He likes to play all the time, run around, and mostly he likes to play with the other two. He has deep and special love for Balu and Kutty, expressed in many ways, but his love for Balu is also coated with intense jealousy. He is also a bit lazy at times (surprisingly he maintains that characteristic from his 'within womb' days). He has a tendency to fall down, I mean all three will be running around and if you hear someone falling, it is invariably Raman. He also has deep love for us and his grandparents, and he is quite easy, relaxed and confident in his social relationships- with both relatives and strangers. He has affinity for all toys, trains and other vehicles, and animals (not at all frightened of anything), and does all boys plays. His main talent is in drumming and dancing with a rhythm. He is the most artistic of the three.

Kutty is just the girl that she is. She loves stories, asking me to tell stories all the time. She loves books too, and whenever we go shopping, Kutty makes sure to get her favorite children's books. She memorizes all characters in these stories- their names, even the ones I can't seem to memorize. (But she doesn't know names of vegetables or doesn't know to count properly). Nowadays she likes to go upstairs and sit alone with her toys, playing and telling stories, and she can do this for up to an hour. She keeps asking questions- sometimes getting on my nerves, like 'why do we take a bath?', 'to clean ourselves', 'why do we have to clean ourselves?', 'so that we are healthy', 'why do we have to be healthy/', 'so we can go out', 'why do we have to go out/', 'to play', 'why do we play?' and so on and on and on. She loves both brothers and pretends that Raman is her son(loves to hug and kiss him), and Balu is her husband. She loves to goody-goody, and advise her brothers, and while playing she keeps telling stories. She has a taste for music, I think, but can be just a passing interest. She has sense of humor, finds something to laugh about in almost everything, which is a blessing most of the time. She passes wisecracks, and jokes, and laughs at her own jokes. She is happy to be with us, but is reserved with others, relatives or strangers, and takes her own time to mingle. 

Balu undoubtedly has the most IQ, and best motor skills. He can climb anywhere, and can fix any toy, and can operate all electronic equipment if once-just once-we show him how to. He loves to dress well, shoes and all, and imitate adults. He knows to do things, and knows that he knows, which makes situations difficult for us because many things we cannot permit him to have a go at, like say, operating the remote control or mobile phone (both of which he loves), even though we feel bad about it because we know he can do it in the correct way. He does all chores too, and does everything in a perfectionist way- like if someone keeps the toothpaste on shelf two instead of one, he gets agitated. He loves both Kutty and Raman and loves to play with them, but his love is intensely intertwined with jealousy. He simply cannot stand if they get to use a toy before him, and will start crying. He also has a deeper affection for his father and my mother, and somewhat keeps a distance from me, mostly because I scold him for taking things he is not supposed to take. He has mechanical skills and we think he will develop culinary skills from the way he likes food and observes how it is cooked, and tries to imitate it with his toys. He does not have any liking for toys that simply are toys, and do not run, or make sounds or other stuff. He likes pets, but is very, very frightened of dark rooms, being alone etc.- he cannot even imagine sitting alone upstairs, the way Kutty does. He is also not very confident in his social relationships, and is a bit insecure, but can nevertheless easily develop relations if he wants to, with his charming smile and mannerisms.

If we adults are not present, they play without any fights. But we always watch over them to prevent accidents, and these results in them craving for our attention causing jealousy with each other and fights. But usually they are together, and if something happens to one, the other two are extremely concerned. We also find it quite easy to travel with all three, especially to temples, parks and zoo and close by places, as they are very, very adjusting during these trips.

To conclude, the trio has grown to become real individuals in the three years!

  

Triplets update on 12 Feb 2015

Afternoon, on a holiday.. Usually this time all three should be asleep. High time they started playschool but have not started yet. Today I have Balu for company. He generally does not like to nap in the afternoon. He sleeps early at night (11.30 pm, that is!) and gets up late (10 am). He is more sharp and intelligent than the the other two. If something is shown to him, he absorbs and understands it the first time itself, whereas Raman takes some more time- we have to show something at least thrice for him to really grasp the technique. Kutty does not bother with understanding things that she is not interested in, but if she wants, she can learn it if we show it may be two times. She has good memory of stories, characters etc. Balu remembers techniques well. Raman is good in his acting, performing skills. Balu is a special character- he does everything- if we ask him to keep something safely, he does it. He can dress up himself, shoes and all. He can eat by himself, he got potty trained first, he learns rhymes very fast. He can bear pain well, he would not cry if he falls down or even cuts himself. But he also has some bad habits- like throwing things, throwing a tantrum. He is very jealous at times, of his siblings. If he does not like something he would devise some way to avoid it. Like if he does not like a shirt, and if we make him wear it, somehow he will find a way to make it dirty or pour water on it, so we will be forced to change his shirt. But there is absolutely no doubt that he is smarter than the other two, and he will survive any adverse situations. Here I have a very independent son, who is absolutely adorable when he wants to be so, and absolutely naughty at some other times. :D

My triplets - when they get sick

My triplets are playing outside in the evening. I am very careful they do not put their hands anywhere near their mouths or nose. They know now that healthy habit includes washing one's hands before eating or putting it in the mouth, so they are careful too. I let them play in the sun (we need vitamin-D, immunity) and sometimes in slight rain too. Not a problem usually. We have Mily (pet dog) and Goldy (pet cat) and some of Goldy's friends visiting. They are exposed to animal hair. Again immunity to allergens. Not a problem. They wash hands after they play with and touch the animals. I am proud of them.

But today,it is particularly dusty. The strong breeze (Palakkadan kaattu) brings loads of dust. Also the mosquitoes have started to swarm. They sneeze at times. I ask them to stop the play and get inside. They are waiting for the moon to come, street lamps to come on, and the baang vili from the nearby mosque. At long last, by 7 pm I am able to get them inside. We rush to the bathroom. I give the trio a long, nice, hot bath. They play together, with the many toys in the water in the bucket, laughing all the way. Now they are clean, fragrant like the flowers they are, and we rush to the next stop- a dinner of dosa (rice pancakes). They sit in their respective seats and eat two dosas each. Today is a fairly good day, at times there is big fight between me and them over food. they just won't eat. But not today. They eat to my heart's content.

After the pancakes they play inside for a while, Ramesh arrives, all four of them play, or go out for a short drive, giving me enough time to finish my own bath and prayers. After they are back, they have a few spoonfuls of rice porridge (kanji) and sometimes a bit of seasonal fruits. The toys are scattered everywhere. They help me or my mother to put them back in the shelf (Not so easy- requires a lot of yelling to get them to do it, sometimes it feels better to do it ourselves). By now Ramesh has finished walking and feeding Mily, and the cats, and his bath too. I brush the trio. (They like to brush, but getting each one near the wash basin needs another round of yelling). Then again they have a round of a brief body bath, after which they are taken directly to the bed. Now it is about  9.30 pm. We take turns finishing our dinner and sitting on the bed with them while they jump around on the bed. The sneezing keeps coming back, it worries me. It is cold outside, so we close the window, but it is very stuffy inside. The humidity is building up.

They go to sleep one by one by around midnight (no kidding, they are yet to learn to go early to bed and early to rise), and I sit with my computer- checking mails, and other things. I have a class tomorrow, and also discussion with the two thesis students whom I am guiding, who have a viva coming up next week. I prepare for both and go to sleep by around 2 am. Ramesh is asleep, he has to get up at 4.30 am and leave for office.

I wake up in the morning and find that Balu has a cold. His nose is running. So no play outside for anyone today. I go to college, my parents look after them. I am back at lunch time, and find that Balu is crying. Kutty's nose has started running too. Raman is seeking attention. All three whining. My parents exhausted and angry. I give them lunch, sit with the trio while my parents eat. Afterwards it is nap time. The only hour during the day when my parents can rest. So my mother takes Balu to his cradle, rocks it. He starts coughing. I am rocking Raman's cradle with one hand, and holding Kutty and rocking her in my other hand. My hand is hurting, but usually she sleeps in fifteen minutes, so I carry her till she sleeps. This is the only way she would sleep. After a few minutes she throws up all over me and all over the floor. Raman was half asleep, now he wakes up fully. I rush Kutty to teh wash basin so she can complete what she started. All the lunch which was fed so painstakingly, telling stories and all, is on the floor and in the wash basin. I clean her, lay her on the cot, clean myself, change my dress and wipe the floor. By now Balu is coughing away, and mother lays him next to Kutty. All three are awake. No plans to sleep anymore. I am needed at college, but I don't think I can go now. So I take the afternoon leave, and ask my thesis students to meet me at home in the evening. I sit with the three by now, very sick and very irritable kids.

Now they all want the same toy, all want something that is kept on the berth, all want to go upstairs. Tears flow down, along with litres of running nose. Eyes are swollen, faces red. Coughing crying all around. I want to pick up each one and hold and soothe, but not possible as I can't carry all and all three want to be held. So I sit down with them trying to hug, but no point. They wriggle out, keep crying, and start throwing toys everywhere and at each other. Three of us adults have no option but yell at the sick babies. Now we have some medicines, so we give cough syrup and syrup to relieve mucus. We hold each to the electric steamer. Things settle a bit but still the crying continues. This goes on till late night until they finally go to a very cough-disturbed sleep. Afterwards we, the adults, gather the scattered toys, clean up, have dinner, do the dishes, have bath and are ready for bed. All of us are exhausted. Kids are in bed with Ramesh. It is around 12.30 am. I quickly go through my class notes etc. and get to bed downstairs. I am in a coma when suddenly I hear Ramesh calling for me. Kutty threw up again, now on the bed and floor. We pick up the now-crying Balu and Raman, sit them on the downstair bed, clean up Kutty, change her and place her also with them. She wants to cling on to us. Ramesh holds her while I change the bed sheets and wipe the floor. Again we lay all three to sleep. I go to dip the bed sheets in water so the vomit does not dry on it. I get back, Kutty is asleep, Ramesh is rocking Balu. I pick up Raman, rocks him for half an hour and he also sleeps. We lay them gently and I get to bed finally and call it a day by 3 am. Thus starts a week  (minimum)of sickness, crying, running noses, coughing, sometimes fever, sleepless nights, stress at the workplace, yelling at home, feeling disappointed and angry all the time.

In the first few months the babies were extremely protected as instructed by the doctors. But once they gained enough weight, we made sure that they got enough exposure to the sun and elements (a little bit of rain, dust, pet hair etc), to develop their immunity, and get enough vitamin-D. Whenever they got a cold, or a fever, we followed Akka's prescriptions. Usually just 2-3 doses of Paracetamol for fever (Fepanil), Mucolite and Tixylix combined with steam inhalation for cough and Cetzin, if any possibility of allergens in the air. When they were babies, steam inhalation was done by placing a pot of boiled water (with tulsi, panikkoorka (Indian Borage) etc) in their room. Once they were a year old, they started inhaling steam from an electric steamer. For fever we also apply small pieces of cloth dipped in warm water on the forehead. For mucus, it is good to have a bit of onion juice mixed with rock candy. Only once we had to give antibiotics as the cough and cold came recurring.

While using electric steamer be careful to keep your hand over his face, so you know when the heat becomes too much.

When they were about two years old, they got Hands-Foot-Mouth disease. This is just a viral disease, with blisters on the skin. Very uncomfortable, but not dangerous or painful (unless it affects inside of mouth). They had some Homoeo medicines for this, and the it got cured in about a week. Akka said it would have gone anyway, after the virus ran it course, but we just wanted to comfort ourselves thinking that we are giving some medication.

Kutty and Raman both got deep cuts on their forehead after falling on sharp surfaces. Three stitches for Kutty, done by a plastic surgeon (so that there will not be any mark left on the face- but the faint scar remains now also- cost us Rs.4000/- for the plastic surgeon), and four stitches for Raman (normal stitching- Rs150/-, scar almost similar to Kutty's!). I still shudder at the memory of blood gushing out from the wounds(some eight months between the two injuries).

A minor problem we faced was occasional constipation. This was usually cured when they had some fruits, but as Raman was a fussy eater, it was more difficult with him. We had to use suppositories at times. But a few weeks back we started a routine of making him sit on the potty at a fixed time everyday, and this solved the problem entirely.