When I was admitted I never thought
I’d spend so many days here.. Anyway, I am still here. In the first few days
here I could not completely believe it that I was really pregnant. It is only
when the sisters who come on a regular basis to check my vitals take a look at
my file and comment something like ‘Won’t the baby be hungry? You should eat
something, no?’, that I actually believe that I might indeed be pregnant. I
befriended most of the nurses, especially the head nurse SisG, who is about
30 and the mother of two school going kids. She had passed IELTS and had a
UK work visa but somehow could not go. This made me respect her even more. The
other nurses were also quite friendly and helpful except for a few. I spent my
days watching the variety of patients coming and going from SICU, and their behavior. They watched me curiously from a distance because I looked so much at home sitting and walking and calling nurses by their names and talking to them and
laughing and all. My mind was numb because I did not want to think about all the
work I had to do, especially regarding my course, job etc.
A second paracentesis was needed the day
after I got admitted itself, that is the very next day after the first tapping,
on 26th. This was done in the afternoon, 3 pm, I think. In the morning
when DrTC came, he checked my Beta HCG and said there is a high probability that
I have twins. It had become a routine to look forward to the blood test every
day morning, and to see beta HCG count mounting. I felt thrilled at the
prospect of having twins, but doctor warned me against over hopefulness. When I
was taken to OT for tapping in the afternoon, plasma IV was given along with
saline. During tapping my body started itching, as if I was being bitten by
mosquitoes. I complained many times to the doctor that mosquitoes were biting
me in the OT during tapping. Now that I think about it, it is to their credit and the way
they cared, that they did not laugh at me, though the doctor just said that OT
is free of mosquitoes, even free of bacteria. Then I realized the stupidity of
my complaint, and rephrased it to say that I feel allergic to the bed sheet.
Then my body started swelling here and there, and DrA, the young and cheerful
general physician who was in charge of the IV said that it was an allergic
reaction to plasma.(I didn’t feel one bit conscious of the fact that a handful of people, men and women, mostly of my age group itself, were present in the OT
during tapping. I had not felt any
awkwardness even before, when I was having ovum pick up or embryo transfer.
They were all very professional, and I did not feel any more embarrassment than
I would have felt if they were looking at my hands. I noticed that DrA
turned away when the nurses pulled the sheet from my legs to start tapping, and I
assumed that he must have joined recently, and might not come often to see this
kind of procedure. On the other hand during my treatment with DrTC, he rushed to
the OT one day saying that he wanted to see a particular delivery in progress
because he wanted to watch a particular gynecologist at work. These young doctors
shared their knowledge, and shared the opportunities they had to learn new
information from each other’s case patients). That day also, the painful part was cleaning
the pelvic area. Everything else went well, and approximately 3 liters of fluid was
drained. At one moment I laughed at some joke someone cracked, and jerked
slightly, and felt something sharp against my skin: 'shh don’t move', said DrTC,
and I saw him look at me with sudden concern. (I don’t know if my skin was cut,
or if something else happened, but later
in the years that followed, whenever there is a brief but sharp pain in the
pelvic area, I regret that moment).
After the tapping I was brought
back to SICU and DrA gave me an Avil injection for the plasma allergy. Drowsy
darkness washed over me, such intense sleep, that my eyes were instantly shut
from the effect of Avil. Rght then my parents reached from Alappuzha. Amma came
to see me at SICU. My eyes kept closing, my body was still swollen, and I was
tired from the tapping. Amma got really frightened seeing me in that condition. I
told her what the doctor said in the morning- about the possibility of twins. I expected her to jump with joy, but she remained unhappy and worried about me. She said that Ramesh had already given the
news, and that he was really excited and happy. Then she left and I slipped
into a sort of coma.
The next tapping was done two days later, on 28th
noon time. I was determined to get two days between the tappings, like the doctor said, and I barely got it. He had instructed me to exercise slightly by walking
a little, and every day I walked as much as I could inside SICU. At least one hour each
every morning,evening and night. Besides this, when there was no one to occupy
the bed on my right side, which was at the far end of the nurses station, I used
to go behind the curtain there and jog and jump slightly, just to reduce the
heavy, full feeling in my stomach. In order to stop the IV saline I started
drinking 5-5.5 liters of water daily, including tender coconut and my daily
couple of cups of tea. However try as I may I could not get myself to eat the
egg whites. Hospital canteen had good rice gruel, and I forced it inside. I
hate gruel, however good. All this effort had only one aim- I desperately wanted
to get discharged from hospital before 8th July, Friday, and reach
Chennai before 11th, when classes would start, since I could not
afford to break the course. My mind was set upon release. I had no idea how
silly I was to even faintly assume this possible. Thus the days in SICU were
hard work, sincere, tough effort both physically and mentally, to get over
OHSS. SICU was not very strict in my visiting hours unless there was a patient
who needed solitary care, and I had four visits every day-Ramesh came every
morning and night with breakfast and dinner, and mother and father came every
noon and evening with lunch and tea. The food smelled delicious each time, with
mouth watering mango pickle, but my taste buds were not functioning. So I just
smelled the food heartily, tried to eat mightily by reading Archies and
Balarama and all (for which DrTC and DrA regularly teased me saying that this
is what they teach at Engineering Colleges), but still everything tasted bad and
worse, my stomach could not take anything in. The nurses’ company was good fun, DrTC
came twice everyday (including Sunday when he came with his new wife- a pediatrician), still I felt lonely and just wanted to get back home somehow, and move
on. May be, if it was not my QIP course period, but my vacation during college,
or leave during college/office, I would not have minded the stay, probably would
have even enjoyed all the attention, but that was not to be.
Today (30-6-11) when
doctor came, he was ready for the fourth tapping. I was taking my regular
walking exercises, and I thought he would appreciate that. He did not, and he
even looked a little concerned about the way I was exerting. I said I don’t need
the tapping and he suddenly looked skeptical. How come you are all right so
suddenly, he demanded. Then he checked and understood that it was not that the
fluid was not there, but just that my body was adjusting to it, the strain was
still there inside the stomach. He checked beta HCG also and was satisfied and
left. Later I asked SisG to inform doctor that I felt heavy and would like
a tapping. Doctor came, checked and said that we’d wait for a few hours, and if the
heaviness lessens we would not tap, let’s not introduce foreign stuff into the
body unnecessarily. The heaviness and bloating was not my imagination, it was
very real, he said. But because my abdomen muscles were strong the girth of
belly was not increasing beyond a limit, and that did not mean that the strain
was not there. However it was best to wait for some time. So here I am, waiting to see how it will all go.
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